vir-ile

And all of the sudden I'm doubting God and the grass under my fence, and I'm wondering why my mom makes dinner and praying I don't turn out like Sid Vicious.

There are 9 things on my mind and they go like this:

October
November
December
January
February
March
April
May
June

It makes me wonder if those 9 things are ever going to repeat themselves, or if this is the end maybe.

October you're beautiful. Those freckles on your lips only make me love you more, even though you're gone gone gone. And just like the weather, I though you were here to stay forever, but no you had to leave like the leaves.

November you're so casually cruel. It hurts to think about you, the way you're stuck between October and December the way you are. The way you put me in so much pain, but still somehow make me happier than I've ever been. I wish you could've stayed a little longer.

December, I'd be dead without December. That pale skin of yours says it all.

January. January you're brilliant. You are one million things I can never describe, you are a hundred I can. You know how to say "it's going to be okay."

February you're a bitch. That stupid look you always had on your face, and that girl you were in love with. It made me sick. But you were alright.

March, you made me fall in love. The way you stood in front of that class, the way you held yourself up. You made me fall in love with numbers. With books, and with writing my name. You made me fall in love with learning how to sing and learning how to love.

April you're a gift. That fake blonde hair and those big green eyes, I want to be you someday. I want my nails to be as red as yours and my grocery list to be a little longer. I want to be stressed the way you're stressed, I want to be angry the way you're angry.

May baby go away maybe. But that laugh, and that hair. And those problems and those late-night-phone-call-life-saving-opportunities. Stick around, I promise I'll be good.

June you confuse me. You're happy and sad, but mostly sad I think. You've got her and them and maybe that isn't enough. But maybe it is. You'd be more comfortable in basketball shorts, June. I know it.

I'm missing 3 I think, but I only had 9 on my mind.